A few weeks ago, after driving all over eastern North America, I returned to Colorado, by way of Texas.

The scenery was pretty consistent. Just grass, hills, bushes, some dirt, more grass, for about eight hundred miles, all the way from Austin, up through Dallas, and across the plains of Northern Texas.

But every evening, around nine o’clock, the plains would fill with colors.

During my last night on the road, I took some time to watch the clouds turn purple.

Off in the distance, some windmills went on working, while the waning sun cast warm colors on the clouds.

I looked down at my feet, and I realized I was surround by grasshoppers. So I grabbed one.

He struggled desperately to get away.

But eventually I got him to calm down and pose for a portrait.

I have to be honest about grasshoppers. They used to gross me out.

But I was cured of my grasshopper aversion while I was in Mississippi. In Mississippi, I picked up the most enormous grasshopper that I have ever seen!

Holy freaking gigantic grasshopper!

His antennae look like bamboo. I kept worrying that he was going to gnaw off the end of my finger with his enormous grasshopper mouth!

He probably started out as a normal grasshopper, until one day he crawled through some radioactive ooze, and mutated into what he is now:

A Teenage Mutant Ninja Grasshopper!

Examine this grasshopper closely and tell me if you notice anything particularly strange, or mutant-like…

Did you notice the large, fleshy pads on the bottom of his feet? Now tell me this, since when do grasshoppers have toes?!

A local told me that the mutant creature I was handling is commonly referred to as a “jack.” Jacks are a tropical grasshopper species which is non-native to the South. The jacks immigrated to the U.S., probably in a container ship or on a fruit boat, during the 20th century.

What an amazing bug!

You can see the individual sections of his mandibles and all the little hairs on his legs. Click on the photo to see a larger version.

Insects are amazing!

So that was the day I overcame my aversion to grasshoppers. And it was also the day I learned that grasshoppers have toes.

Compared to the grasshopper I saw in Mississippi, the grasshoppers in Northern Texas were harmless.

I let the little grasshopper go, and I stood and watched the clouds and the windmills, on a spot off the freeway in northern Texas.

I camped in my car that night.

The next day I cut across the northeastern corner of New Mexico, in all its glorious desolation, and reached Colorado’s southern end.

I stopped at the stateline, to see if I could get a free roadmap at the Colorado Welcome Center/Rest Area.

And then I got a welcome home present that I’ll never forget…

No. Freaking. Way.

Gas prices went so high that the gas station ran out of numbers.

They might as well just stick a number eight in there and turn it on its side, so it’s an infinity sign!

After the gas station, I went to the Colorado Welcome Center, where there were some war memorials.

There was a big memorial for World War II.

There were medium-sized memorials for the Vietnam War and the Korean War.

And there was a small memorial for the “GLOBAL WAR ON TERRORISM.”

I kept looking at the GLOBAL WAR ON TERRORISM Memorial and thinking there was something wrong with it.

Is the occupation of Iraq really part of the global war on terrorism?

I guess it is. I guess you could call it that.

I just didn’t realize that’s what people were actually calling it.

The war definitely started out as part of the Global War on Terrorism, but when the U.S failed to find weapons of mass destruction, the White House sort of re-labeled it as “The War Against Economic Failure in Iraq”.

So my question is, are we now in Iraq to fight terrorists, or are we there to secure Iraq’s economic future? Are we there for a military reason, or an economic reason? Maybe it’s both reasons.

I think some people would say we are creating a secure economic future for Iraq, which will reduce the threat of terrorism in the Middle East. It’s an Economic War on Terrorism. Under this logic, military occupation is, in fact, an economic tactic.

Yeah, I can see that. I get it. Military occupation may not be the most effective tactic for fighting an economic battle, but it is a tactic. The U.S. occupation of Iraq is a Military tactic, being used in the Economic War on Terrorism.

I’m convinced. There is nothing wrong with the Global War on Terrorism Memorial at the Colorado Welcome Center/Rest Area.

Maybe if they could just insert the word “ECONOMIC” in there…

Anyway, here’s my personal war memorial:

$4.399 per gallon, for Regular!